What We Were
Never Taught
[a 10-week couples
workshop series]
Understanding Your Marriage:
where you’ll begin to understand the why beneath your same old fights and figure out how to finally feel close again
transform attachment
*
reconnect
*
experience intimacy again
*
reclaim your marriage
*
transform attachment * reconnect * experience intimacy again * reclaim your marriage *
If you’re here, chances are…
You and your partner love each other deeply yet somehow, you keep ending up stuck the same arguments.
You have no idea why you end up as upset as you do over the seemingly smallest of issues.
You are frustrated that no one ever taught you how this all work and exhausted from trying to figure it out on your own.
You leave conversations feeling misunderstood, shut down, or absolutely infuriated.
…and no matter how much you talk about it (IF you ever talk about it), nothing ever changes.
you feel like you’ve
exhausted all your options…
you’ve probably already:
Stayed up until 2:00 am Googling “how to stop being angry at my husband.”
Listened to relationship podcasts in the car, on walks, in the shower, hoping something would finally click and help it all make sense.
Sent your partner Instagram reels about attachment styles and how to repair after a fight.
Tried ALL (and I mean all) of the “communication tips” you’ve seen TikTok.
Practiced using “I feel …” statements… and still end up feeling entirely misunderstood.
Replayed arguments in your head trying to figure out what you should have said so that it may have not ended up the way it did.
Maybe you’ve even tried couples therapy but it turned into 50 minutes of venting and not getting anywhere.
Even asked ChatGPT how on earth to get through to your partner
…but NOTHING has actually worked
…you’re not failing
…you don’t hate your partner
…you are not “doomed”
You were just never taught
how relationships actually work.
How do I know if this
workshop is right for us?
You have the same fights over and over…and over, yet nothing ever feels resolved.
During conflict, one of you tends to lean in, pushing harder while the other partner walls off & shuts down… leaving you both feeling misunderstood.
You are deeply committed to each other, but recently you feel more like roommates (on a good day) and opponents (on a rough day).
You’re motivated to work on your relationship and willing to show up consistently for 10 weeks.
You’re ready to learn more than communication skills, you want to understand what’s actually happening under the surface.
*This group may not be a great fit if there is ongoing betrayal, infidelity, active addiction, or safety concerns.
In these cases, more individualized support is more appropriate.
What this Workshop is (& isn’t)
This is:
A structured, time-limited, 10-week group designed to teach core relationship and attachment skills in an explicit, supportive way.
A compilation of my expertise and lived experience as a couples therapist in workshop format
Practical, tangible skills you can use immediately
A chance to truly understand your partner’s inner world, and let them into yours
A guided, supportive environment to learn how to do things differently
This is not:
Another self-paced online marriage course some wellness influencer created with AI
A passive lecture series
A place to endlessly vent about your week and the shortcomings of your partner
This WORKSHOP EXISTS so you don’t have to keep
struggling to figure it out on your own...
What to Expect:
An experiential, live workshop series led by Sarah Oldendorf, LPC (an EFT therapist with years of experience that isn’t afraid to give it to you straight).
*no generic ChatGPT generated stuff to just click through!Explicit, tangible skills that actually help in the heat of the moment.
To be let into the most intimate part of your partner’s world and to allow your partner into yours maybe even for the first time.
here’s what you’ll learn more about:
Why you react the way you do when you feel hurt or disconnected
How attachment shapes conflict, closeness, and emotional safety
The pursue/withdraw cycle (and how to recognize your part in it)
What’s happening with your nervous system during conflict
Why “communication tips” alone don’t work when you feel emotionally unsafe
RESERVE YOUR SPOT
INVESTMENT:
$2,000 per couple (for the 10 week series)
Registration Includes:
10 weekly 75-minute sessions
Guided exercises during the group (between couples, not in whole group process)
Structured take-home exercises to continue the work between sessions
All workshop materials
*spots are intentionally limited to protect the intimacy and integrity of the group structure
This workshop is designed to give you practical tools and a deeper understanding of the patterns that keep you stuck. You’ll walk away with language for your cycle and a clearer sense of how to reach for each other differently.
…but why wouldn’t we just do regular couples therapy?
Traditional weekly couples therapy is incredibly valuable. It can also be a slower, more open-ended process often shaped by week-to-week stressors, scheduling interruptions, and whichever crisis feels loudest that day.
This 10-week group experience is intentionally structured and time-bound. Instead of starting over each week reacting to whatever happened since your last session, we follow a clear roadmap that builds week after week.
You’re learning the “why” behind and beginning to systematically understand your negative cycle, access the deeper emotions underneath it, and practice new ways of reaching for each other.
There’s also something powerful about the group format that you cannot get in private couples therapy.
Couples often discover:
“Oh… it’s not just us.”
“We’re not crazy or broken.”
“This pattern actually makes sense.”
Shame decreases. Defensiveness softens. Hope expands.
It’s not better than private couples therapy.
It’s certainly not for every couple.
It’s simply a focused, immersive alternative for couples who are ready to be intentional and want momentum.